Only reading this article, you will know how to be assertive.

Do you want to have a better relationship, be more confident or feel less tension?

Surely, your answer is “yes”. But, do you know when you must say “no”?


There's boldness in being assertive, and there's strength and confidence.

Bryan Cranston

What does assertiveness mean?

Being an assertive person means to find the golden mean between kindness and aggression. It is a skill of interpersonal communication where you show both sound confidence to defend your rights, and respect to your interlocutor. Such behavior is highly respected by people.

You should bear in mind, that sharing your opinion, you might face the alternative point of view. It is everybody’s right to have their own opinion, not the same as yours. Do not get angry, try to reach a compromise.


The benefits of an assertive personality:


  • Better relationship. Both partners should have this quality for a happy relationship.


  • Less tension. It is well known that assertive people feel much calmer and less stressed. A person with an assertive personality can say “no” to the requests that harm his or her interests. There is no need to worry about other people’s opinion. Assertiveness will let you bring your life under control.


  • Confidence in yourself. Your behavior and decisions are influenced by your own interests and needs. It gives you confidence in your own actions, because nobody can affect them.


  • Less resentment. The more decisive you are, the better you relations with others. You won’t keep offense or do somebody’s job. If you are ready to help somebody, it will be your sincere desire and mean a lot to that person.


3 easy rules How to be assertive.



To have the right thinking, you will have to get rid of limitations and false beliefs that prevent you from being assertive. Here are 3 simple rules how to do it.


1. Set the limits.

It means the rules for people to follow dealing with you. Usually passive people do not have these borders and let others treat them without due respect.


2. Be responsible for your problems.

A passive person expects the problems will go away on their own. An assertive person realizes that only he or she is able to solve them.


3. People can not read your thoughts.

Learn how to say about your desires or contradictions. But, remember, you are responsible for your words. To be assertive also means to be able to face the music.


It takes time. After reading this article you will not become assertive in a minute. To train this trait as any other you need time and practice.


To make the first step – start small.


Start saying “no” every time it is necessary, for example, you are brought the wrong order in a restaurant.


Bear in mind that people may be upset to get your “no”, because from that moment, you stop being a yes-man.

Do not beat around the bush, announce your position confidently. Do not make excuses for your opinion and uphold your interests. Make an accent on yourself, your interlocutor should understand that he or she can not manipulate you.


The calmer you defend your own position, the higher your authority in another person’s opinion. But stay cool even if your opponent disagrees with you. Remember, each person has their own opinion.


Your non-verbal communication also can show your solid position: - hold your back straight

- look in the eyes of your interlocutor

- use the proper intonation


Remember, all the doors would be open to a person with an assertive personality.

Some of them will open immediately, another ones demand your efforts and time.