3 ways to handle frustration that make your hair stand on end


How a writing pad can help you handle frustration? Why do need to lie down and merge with your bad emotions? Reading the full article gives you the answers. Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.

- Bo Bennett

“Why am I so frustrated” is the question you ask when you try to achieve the desired purpose, despite of all handicaps on your way, but do not succeed. If it is impossible to satisfy your needs, you adjust yourself to this condition of discontent and create a defense mechanism.

We are all born with certain needs. They are:

  • physiological: food, sleep, sexual attraction
  • the need of being safe, good living conditions
  • social: friendship, communication
  • the need of being respected
  • intellectual: be able to do something, know something
  • the need of self-realization: self-development, the realization of your ideas, abilities

If for some reasons, your needs are not satisfied, you are feeling frustrated. This condition takes much energy and deprives you of the feeling of freedom and life.

But if in your childhood your parents help you satisfy your needs, when you grow up, it is your turn to rule the life. It is good if you were taught how to do it.

Though, our childhood can play a bad joke. Many complexes have their roots from this period of your life.

If you are tired of spending your life waiting for a miracle that would help you out, the following pieces of advice will be effective dealing with the question How to handle frustration.

Help yourself out with 3 simple steps.

1. Observe your life. Take a writing pad and divide a page in several parts according to the parts of your life, for example: 

  • Body and health
  • Professional sphere
  • Hobbies
  • Family or personal life
  • Friends
  • Aims, goals

Then ask yourself: What do I have now? What do I want to get in the future?

Fill in each section. Your answers must be very honest, otherwise you lie to yourself.

One step closer to understand how to deal with frustration. 

2. Get rid of negative emotions.

  • The following exercise can help you:
  • Take a comfortable position, better to lie down
  • Single out the feelings and emotions you feel right now (anger, depression, disappointment, etc)
  • Close your eyes and feel deeply ONE emotion or feeling. Merge with this emotion and accept the fact that right now you are depressed\angry\offended etc; forgive yourself for being in this condition
  • Try to determine WHERE this feeling or emotion is situated (in your head, belly, etc)
  • Look at this emotion or feeling from the outside: define its shape, color, consistency, smell
  • Think of how you can make this emotion or feeling (in the shape which you have given to it) disappear 
  • Do it until this emotion or feeling will be gone
  • Consider the result: whether you have some strange feelings in your body or you want to do something with the place of that emotions
  • If everything is OK, take a deep breath and open your eyes

If after you finished this exercise you feel discomfort, it means that that emotion did not disappear to the end. Repeat the exercise or return to the exact part of it. You can do it next day. 

3. Find a way in which you can transform your frustration.

For example, if you did not receive enough parental love, you won’t be able to love yourself or somebody else. You easily do not know how. You may look for another person who would give this love, but, unfortunately, you can not return his or her feelings.

So, how to handle frustration in this example?

Begin with doing the things that give you pleasure. Maybe, you like to dance, draw or cook, then visit some dance, drawing or cooking lessons.

Plunge in the atmosphere of fun and pleasure. Soon, you will notice that even being among many people, you are concentrated on yourself, your emotions. You feel comfortable with your own thoughts and feelings. A bit later, you will learn to listen to your body and mind, understanding what gives you pleasant emotions and what you should avoid.

This example gives a good piece of advice for any kind of frustration, do not forget to relax your mind and body, find a hobby and an occupation to your liking. Alongside with fighting frustration, you should reward yourself for every little step forward.